So I know fully and without a doubt that God placed me at my job at the time he did for a reason. This job has been the most rewarding job outside of my work in our home that I have EVER had. I love my coworkers dearly, and I LOVE what I do, I feel my job has purpose and I feel it is an honor and priveledge to invest time into ever the smallest, sickest and littlest of Gods children. This job has taught me how much I've taken for granted, having two healthy full term daughters for one, easily concieving my children, the fact that my children are growing in a home with a mom and dad who love them and love the Lord instead of an abusive home or foster care, the fact that when I had my children I had an amazing supportive husband and family and wasn't a terrified teenager, the fact that I've never stood by and watched my child be seriously ill or die when there was literally nothing anyone could do to save them... all these things I took for granted! I am blessed, I am incredibly blessed and God has used this job to show that to me again and again.
In that I feel working is taken my time with my babies so young for granted, I know with confidence that I will never look back at these years and think that having a few extra hundred dollars a month will be worth being away from them. We have a wonderful babysitter, i could not ask for better. But me working has made everything very difficult... here is a week for us in a nutshell... our church has no Sunday night church (well it is the same service as the AM service) So typically I work Sunday Monday and Tuesday from 645pm until 7am...whitney comes monday tuesday and wednesday to let me sleep, she typically has to leave by 2 so if Kev can he will sit with the girls and allow me to catch a little bit more sleep if not I get up at 2 and take over, these days vary but I typically try to work the 1st part of the week when I am on my work stretch I am so incredibly worn out that sleeping showering hugging my babies for a few minutes eating and going back to work is my life... Wednesday nights Kev has had to go to louisville as he has class on thursdays (so we havent seen each other since sunday and he doesnt come home until late thursdays) if we are really lucky we get friday and saturdays together (much of it spent on house work and laundry) then we go to church Sunday mornings I nap and head back into work. During the midst of this I plan playdates for my days off, I meal plan, one of us gets to the grocery, We play and play and play with Av and sof as much as possible, we are each leading a college small group,working in the college group every sunday,me attending a womens bible study, Kev has his own demanding full time job, Im growing another child, laundry is a constant, dishes are a constant, sweeping, mopping, cooking, bathrooms, vaccuuming and dusting must all happen, and at some point we like to have a night just the two of us atleast once a month! Needless to say, this schedule is killing us! It is a tough spot, when you love your job and enjoy making a paycheck to help your family yet you love your family and that time more but worry about the financial end of it...it is REALLY hard to know what to do...
So after us having a 3rd child sank in, I began to pray, and to be honest I began to battle God, I felt me working was a necessity. God told me other wise... I could hear him clearly saying to trust him... so I began too. I relinqueshed controls of our finances to him more then I ever have, I bagan to want to tithe instead of feeling just as if it were another bill. And suddenly Kevin got the news he will ba able to graduate this may instead of next december with only one more jterm vs 3 more classes,GOD IS GOOD! Kev wont have to travel nor will we have the added expense of his school and that is a HUGE financial burden lifted, after I pay for childcare the cost of his schooling is almost equal to what I take home. Kevins company is expanding and growing and their is opportunity for him to hopefully recieve a promotion... and no matter how it works out God has granted me full peace in our decision for me to stay home after Reiter arrives... ideally I will come back one weekend a month because I truly truly truly love what I do but we will see if that is Gods plan or not. I am nervous and excited about the next steps in our life, I am excited to be back with my babies and hopefully after we adjust to Rei get back into our more regular routine!I am excited to do the job that God has given me and that provides me the most joy and fulfillment and that is in my home.
