a moment to vent...

First let me say I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mommy... I feel beyond blessed to have two healthy and beautiful daughters... yet I am not afraid to admit miss Sof has thrown us for a loop this last five weeks. If she is awake she is either eating or screaming... she fights sleep so hard it can take well over an hour to get her to calm down enough to sleep and once she is asleep she will pry herself awake despite being swaddled and then the process starts all over again. I don't mean to compare Averi and Sofie, I know they are going to be compared for the rest of their lives but Averi was a much easier baby which has made the adjustment to Sofie that much harder.
I know she has acid reflux and therefore she is uncomfortable which breaks my heart for her that much more... not being able to comfort your own baby can make you feel like a failure rather quickly, as a mom you feel you should be the one person who can soothe your baby, unfortunately in many instances no one can soothe poor Sof. Dont get me wrong, she has moments where she is content, moments where she looks in my eyes and gives me one of those content baby grins...she has just enough of those moments that I am reminded how much I love her, how grateful I am that God placed her in our lives and how a year from now this time of fussiness will be a distant memory!
After over four hours of Sofie screaming tonight I am exhausted...we tried rocking, walking, nursing, swaddling, the swing and even letting her cry it out to no prevail...she finally crashed in my arms, I think from pure exhaustion, the poor thing... I then placed her in her swing for 30 minutes so I could have a few uninterupted minutes to myself! My house is a mess despite trying my darndest to stay on top of it but I am realizing that is ok... a messy house may just be the spot we are in right now, eventually it will calm down and on the days Sofie is not so fussy I will get as much cleaned as possible!
i am incredibly blessed... I hate to come across like I am complaining, I'm not... I am just tired, I want to fix my babies fussiness and am having to realize I can't... I am having to realize more and more to place her in Gods hands and to place my anxieties at his feet! "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" this is what I repeated to myself throughout Sofies birth and this is what I will continue to tell myself as we get past this point of colic! And now I hear Sofie crying again... time for another round with her but after a minute of venting I feel far better.

cousin photo shoot

while my sister and her family were in town we decided to get some pictures done of Averi, Sofie and their big cousin Corbin! Thanks (once again) to the talented Rachel Marshman for these beautiful pictures!

Av "reading" to me

I could not handle having two babies without my loving and kind husband! He is a constant help and does so much for me and the girls without even being asked! I LOVE you Kevin thank you you are so appreciated!

dress up

for christmas my sweet sister bought Av her very own fairy costume! She has had it on all day... I took it off for nap time but as soon as she got up she wanted it back on! Oh how I love having a girl!

well visits

today Averi, Sof and I made a visit to the pediatrician for Avs 18 month well visit and Sofies 1 month well visit! Sof weighed in at nine pounds thirteen ounces, meaning she gained nearly 3 pounds in one month and placing her in the 25th percentile for height and 50th for weight...GO SOF! I discussed how fussy Sofie is with her doctor and explained that when she cries it isnt just being fussy it is unconsolable, her legs are drawn up and she just screams like she is in pain, it is awful...he upped her meds and said if that doesnt work we will try a different medication and if that doesnt work we will try eliminating items from my diet, hopefully it will not come to that! Over all he was pleased with her progress and even called her a chunk!
Averi weighed in at a whopping 28.2 pounds and is 34 inches long placing her in the 90th percentile for height, 85th for weight! GO AV! The pediatrician was pleased with her speech and communication skills and even suggested we start potty training since she is consistantly telling us when her diaper is wet or poopy. I hadnt planned on trying to potty train until she was two but am now planning on starting in the next couple weeks, hopefully she will get it!
We are so blessed to have two beautiful and healthy daughters, thank you for all your prayers this last month! Here is a link to a sneak peak of our new pictures...thank you marshmans! click here

Averi I just ADORE that when I get out the camera you smile and say "CHEESE"... nineteen months is such a fun age!