Saturday, December 25, 2010


I am at work and have a moment of down time. Let me just say this last few weeks has been a struggle! I am sure a lot of it has to do with being pregnant and my hormones going buckwild but still life has seemed to be insanity!
I LOVE my job! When I say LOVE I mean LOVE. The people I work with are terrific, the job fits me to a tea, and I feel like what I do actually means something. If you ask Averi what mommy does she will tell you "mommy takes care of tiny babies" that to me is precious! I have been pretty sick with this bambino which makes everything exceedingly difficult tho, my midwife gave me some much needed relief however when she called me in a prescription for zofran, if I do not take it right at the 6 hour mark tho I am in big trouble! We took a mini vacation to Louisville last week, it was quick but was so nice to see our friends and visit family! I also took the girls to eastern KY to visit with my Nana (kev had to work) it was wonderful.
So I find working conflicting. I am incredibly blessed to have a job that allows me so much flexibility with my days, I often am able to schedule myself 3 days in a row then have 5 or 6 days off before I do another 3. The last few weeks have been especially insane because of traveling and then of course the holidays, I have to remind myself that it will not always be this way!
The hardest aspect of working is how hard it can make it to become involved with other moms, I was consistently going to a Wednesday night bible study and thoroughly enjoyed my small group there but have had to miss several weeks of it because of working. I also had planned to join MOPS but that did not work out. Kevin and I love serving in our college group but have had a more difficult time finding a Sunday school class with which to connect in, please continue to uplift that in your prayers!
We love living here in TN we love being closer to family and are making friendships and building relationships at our church. Mine working has relieved so many financial burdens for us and in that regard has made life a lot more calm. Kev does incredibly well with the girls and the house when I am not around and for that I am thankful. It is so hard for me to relinquish those tasks to him though because being a wife and mom is my joy and being a wife and mom to me includes the house work and the majority of things related to the girls! I will admit a part of me still strongly desires to stay home full time, it would be my dream job. But the other part of me enjoys being a help to our family financially, especially because I so enjoy my job... it is contradicting emotions I suppose!
I cant help but already stress about how everything will work when this new baby arrives. Kevin reminds me over and over that Gods hand is over us, that He is always sovereign and his plan is perfection but I still stress out over the legistics!
Things should begin to ease up a bit in a few weeks, once I pass up this 1st trimester I will feel better and that will help so much. Also Kevin's job has been incredibly time consuming and stressful the last month so once that calms down that will help as well. We also have a new sitter starting the 2ND week of Jan. I currently sleep at my in laws after I work night shift and my sister in law keeps the girls there but one of the college girls graciously offered to come to our house and do it for the same price (God is so good) this will be extra nice so the girls and I wont have to spend so much time in the car. There is not a point to this post I suppose. I just wanted to record where we were at at this busy moment. God has richly blessed us, I know he will continue to do so!

1 comment:

lillie said...

Hang in there Rachel. You are right,things will get better. It is normal to have ambivalent feelings about work outside the home, the uncertainty of the future, and apprehension about how everything will work out. Listen to Kevin and just trust in God to see you through. Take things one step at a time, one day at a time. I am sure a lot of what you feel now IS due to hormonal changes, stress of the holidays, and your body adjusting to the physical changes of pregnancy. I am glad you have a supportive family and good friends to help you through the tough times.