MOMMY GUILT...

Mommy guilt. You know what Im talking about.It is that ugly feeling that creeps in when youre nursing your newborn and your 4 year old is begging you to play doll house and you have no choice but to tell her no.It is those thoughts you let linger when you go into a friends house and it is sparkling clean, all their children are dressed and said hostess has even straightened her hair, and you, well your son has on his sisters shoes and you are wearing a hat to cover up your hair while your dreading going back home and cleaning the mad mess that became your living room as you tried to get out the door on time. It is the fact that when youre sitting at the park you are confident youre being judged because for 10 minutes you would rather look at facebook then join your lovely crew down the slide for the 15th time, when really no one else even noticed. It is the self inflicted feeling that you are not as pretty, as put together, or fit as this mom or that and are therefore somehow inadequate. It is the idea you allow to creep in your head that you are indeed failing when you browse pinterest and realize your home isnt decorated up to par, your children are not being fed a totally organic diet,your craft time isn't daily,isnt always kid friendly and certainly isnt always successful and all your meals are not made from scratch. It is the remorse and hours, sometimes days of guilt you feel when you know you overreacted with one of your children even after you have gone to them and made it right. It is Mommy guilt. I have had a huge awakening with this mommy guilt. I spent last Christmas worried and obsessing over getting it all right. Our crafts, our memories, our baking, the kids gifts. And you know what I realize this year? My kids don't remember much of it. They remember doing truth in the tinsel and learning about Jesus' birth, not that there were a few days we missed! They remember their elf coming to "visit them", not that their were days i plain forgot to put that sucker out. They remember baking with me, not the batch i burned. They remember opening gifts and the excitement, they could care less that i got them the perfect american girl bitty baby twins and double strollers.So this christmas Im not doing it to myself. I am making all the same memories, the same traditions, the same things we love to do a priority, but I refuse to allow that ugly guilt to peak his head in on the day it just doesnt happen. In fact I refuse to allow that Mommy guilt to rear its head in our home, our lives or my heart any more. I am not by any means a perfect momma. BUT I am the perfect Mommy for my children, because God designed both me and them to fit perfectly with one another (and their daddy) to form a family! 2 Corinthians 3:17 says "Now the Lord is the spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom". I have and am praying for God to release me from this self inflicted guilt, to renew my soul with his freedom. I know in my heart that I have freedom in Christ, that I am a new creation. Yet I allow the Devil to attack me over and over in my own mission field, my home. You see when you are mothering in guilt you aren't mothering to your highest potential. You become angrier and more frustrated easier, you will have a tendancy to just give up because you feel like you will never really figure this out anyways, you are not teaching your daughters what a confident women of Christ looks like but instead what a beaten and worn out women is, You can not live in self inflicted guilt and live to the potential you have been given in Christs freedom. My desire is to live to the potential I have in Christ. Not to be Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart. My desire is to make my children smile and giggle,to play with them, even when that means I stay up late folding laundry. My desire is to slow down, to talk to them not just at them, to listen intently to what they are telling me- because it is important. My desire is to rock my baby boy while he coos at me, for him to know he is simply the most magnificient baby even though I know there are a sink full of dishes awaiting me. I want my childrens memory of me to be of me reading Gods word, of how important that was to me more then I want their memory of me to be of my stress with house work. We have but one life. We have but one chance to Mother these little blessings God has, in his infinate grace, given us. How will you use that opportunity? I encourage you to claim to the freedom in Christ. Do not allow the Devil to play tricks in your head or with your heart. Stand firm and rely hard on Jesus, He will sustain you, He will give you the power to Mother well. And the best part is, the harder you cling to Jesus as your rock the more your children will see him radiate through!

7 months

Our Fischer man is 7 months. He is a crazy man. Rolling all over and SOOOO close to crawling! He can sit up unsupported which he especially enjoys! He really struggled with solids,we had tried a couple months ago and he just gagged and gagged so we took a break on them. He started eating puffs and LOVING them and has now started eating baby food like a champ. I mostly make his baby food which he enjoys. He still gets up a couple times at night but just eats and goes back to sleep. I am really trying to just savor his babyhood and not stress about things like sleep :). He is such a sweetie, we all just adore him! Here is a sweet picture of him and Reiter, reiter calls him "my baby bubba"

sofias 4th birthday party

I have a little obsession with birthday parties. Not that we spend a ton of money on them, we dont, nor do we buy extravegent gifts or do anything over the top. But I still love birthdays. I love love love having those hours of so many people focusing on just 1 of our kiddos. They get to feel like stars and they should! I love having lots of friends and family together enjoying each others company. I love watching the excitement as said child opens gifts, chases friends, eats far to much junk and turns red as happy birthday is sang to them. I LOVE birthday parties! We had Sofias 4th birthday at a local park. We had lots of friends and family and some new friends from preschool. She wanted a rainbow themed party, which was super simple to provide! A friend made her a rainbow cake, when we cut into it each layer was a different color, the kids loved it! We also made cake pops with rainbow sprinkles and served rainbow goldfish (among other tasty foods). Sofia was royally spoiled and had a great day! I still can not believe our girl is 4!!!!

6 months

Fischer Jonathan, You my sweet baby boy are 6 months. Time is flying and you are quickly growing up. It makes my momma heart sad as I mourn the loss of newborn days but at the same time it makes me jump for joy as you grow and develop! You are so happy and sweet! You giggle easily and have the sweetest little dimple on your cheek. You can sit unsupported for a few minutes at a time, roll both ways and can almost crawl! You love your exersaucer and Johnny Jumper. You keep us all giggling with your high pitched squeels and chats, so so sweet! You are VERY picky about baby food and so we have had to be very creative and selective in getting you to try out solids. I have been making your baby food which I enjoy doing. We have just introduced solids very very slowly which has seemed to start working and you are getting more adventerous with your foods! We could not imagine our home without you stud man. Despite being a terrible sleeper I am treasuring every moment with you. I love playing with you. I love cuddling you. I love nursing you. You are my sweet babe and I thank God for you!

Sofia is 4...

Dear Sofia, YOU ARE 4! I can not believe you are such a big girl already, I feel like we were just meeting you. You are truly the peanut butter that holds us together, you are funny- like REALLY funny. You often talk in silly voices just to make us laugh or use funny words with meanings that you have made up, you also love to make up knock knock jokes. You love babies, especially "your baby" Fischer. You call him "little fatty", "little cutie cutie", "fat man", "chubba-bub". You will lay on the floor and play with him for a long time and always want to hold him. He laughs the most for you! You go to PK 2 days a week and have made a lot of friends. Your teachers say you are very out going and popular, we are so happy you are enjoying yourself! You are learning a lot. You know all your shapes and colors, can count to 20 and write you name! You are my mini me and prefer to stay with me all the time, which I dont mind a bit! You come get in our bed almost nightly, which as annoying as it can be to be kicked in the back because you sleep the wrong direction, I am cherishing! You are such a cuddler,you always have been! In honor of your 4th birthday I am reposting your birth story! Your birth is so precious to me! I had my 1st all natural delivery with you my Pearlie and it pushed me both physically and mentally to limits I didnt think I could surpass! It taught me how much I am REALLY capable of and put a closeness and intimacy between your dad and I that I had never experienced! Thank you for teaching me so much in 4 years! I love you my baby girl! http://yatesblogspot.blogspot.com/2009/10/sofia-pearl-yates.html

4 and 5 months

Time is FLYING! I can not believe our sweet Fischer is 5 months old already! At 4 months he started rolling very consistently and occasionally going 4 hours between feedings during the day. Still wakes up atleast twice to eat at night. At His 4 month well visit He weighed in at 17.8lbs, I know talk about a CHUN

Fischer is now 5 months! He LOVES his exersaucer and all his toys! He giggles and smiles so easily at everything. He is happy and sweet. He has started solids the last week and I am making them all home made. So far he seems to like bananas and squash but hates sweet potatos, which is really surprising to me. Truthfully He would rather nurse then eat solids any ways. He still nurses every 3 hours although occasionally goes 4 and wakes up twice during the night. I go with his cues and enjoy cuddling him and nursing him so I pretty much nurse all day :) He is spoiled! He can sit up for a couple minutes at a time and is getting better at it every day. He loves to ride in his ergo and usually falls asleep in it pretty quickly. We can not get enough of our sweet fella. The girls and Rei love talking to him and making him grin, it does my heart so much good to watch my 4 blessings together!

Kindergarten and Preschool

Our oldest is officially in kindergarten and LOVING it! She wakes up in the morning excited to go. She walks herself in. She has either moved her clip up or stayed on the color they start with every day. She is learning and loves to read and write. We have been able to go have lunch with her and she really loves showing us her lunch room and school. She is a little worn out as it is a huge adjustment and we are all figuring out a the new schedule it brings on, but over all it is a very positive experience! Sofia started preschool and is also loving it! It is her 2nd year and she feels like big stuff. Another little girl in her class thinks she is "sofia the 1st"and that has therefore made her pretty popular among the girls haha, and she is eating it up! The only picture I got of her her 1st morning, unfortunately the sun is in her eyes!

CHOO CHOO YOU ARE 2!!!!

We celebrated Reiters birthday in our back yard with lots of friends and family! It was "train themed" and so super fun! He kept pointing at his decorations saying "choo choo choo Choo" He was in little boy heaven! He recieved lots of wonderful gifts, 2 of his favorites being a remote control Thomas and a ride on Tow-mater! We are so blessed to have so many family and friends that love us and our kiddos and join us to celebrate their birthdays. We are so very blessed by Reiter and can not imagine our home without this fun,happy, LOUD baby boy!

moments

When we were in Florida there was this moment. This amazing moment that overwhelmed me. I was sitting on the beach, snuggling my sweet precious babe sound asleep on my chest, waves hitting my legs, watching my love play in the ocean with my big kids and laugh and laugh and laugh! I was literally overwhelmed with love for my family and thanks to God for his provision. I am so blessed to have a husband who adores me and his children. To have 4 healthy babies! To live in a home, drive a nice vehicle, have friends and money to provide for our needs. We are BLESSED. So incredibly BLESSED. We do not have a lot, but we have more then enough. There is no greater feeling then holding my babies close and Im extra lucky that my sweet newest babe is extra cuddly, its a reminder over and over how much I love them- my heart over flows! That moment on the beach I was so reminded of Gods sovereignty, sovereignty over marriage, sovereignty over my childrens personailities and how they fit together to make a family, soveriegnty over new life, and soveriegnty over his creation- wow

YOU ARE 2

Reiter, I dont know how it happened but you sweet baby boy are 2! You have really grown up lately. You talk a lot, and although it is hard for a lot of people to decipher what you are saying your daddy and I can usually figure it out. You love Choo choos, dinos, trucks and guns. You are all boy! You play super rough and hard. You have the most infectious grin and laugh. You have SO much energy sometimes you just start running in circles because you cant get it all out! You love your brother and giving him kisses. You are big for your age weighing a whopping 30 pounds but you are also super tall! You are still obsessed with your binky and blankie, you call them both "doggie" because the blankie has a doggie print. I know we will have to break the binky at some point but I also know that is gonna break your heart so we havent tried yet! You are a joy sweet boy. Stubborn, lou, wild and spunky, but still a joy! Thank you Jesus for giving us Reiter Micheal,may he grow into a man who loves you and runs after your plan for his life, help us to daily commit him to you! HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY sweet man!

vacation...

July has been a busy month. We started out spending several days in Dickson with family celebrating the 4th. Kevins family farm there has become so precious to us and we absolutely adore spending time there. Our kids have so much freedom to play outside and run around like crazy. We sit on the porch and catch up. We take the kids fishing and Kevin always gets in time to go shooting! We took the kids to watch fireworks, which they enjoyed but were bored of before they were over- it was a long show and they are young! Over all it was an AWESOME few days!

Kevin had to travel to NY for work, so I took the 4 kids 51/2 hours away to Jackson to see my Nana and Papa. I was so proud of the kids and myself for making the trip without daddy. Over all the kids were terrific travelers and we made the trip there and back in good time and in good spirits! We loved seeing Nana and Papa and the girls enjoyed going to VBS all week with their big cousins. We ate way to much good food, stayed up past bed times and PLAYED HARD! It was an awesome week, an awesome week that I took 0 pictures of! Next we loaded up and headed to Florida to vacation and see my sister and her family. Seriously we havent had a true vacation since Averi was 3 months old! It was so much fun! We spent 2 days at the beach, 1 day at the Tampa Aquarium, 1 day swimming in James' parents pool and 1 evening at a mini amusement park (that was far to expensive but the kiddos LOVED)!It was an 11 1/2 hour drive and on the way down we dealt with a very fussy newborn and a case of car sickness that resulted in vomit EVERYWHERE, but it was worth it for the amount of family time, laughter and fun that was had when we got there! My kiddos LOVE being outside, like their momma, and loved the beach, also like their momma. They swam and splashed and found seashells and buried one another and built sandcastles. I hope those memories are engrained in their little minds, because they are in mine. Precious time together!