First let me say I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mommy... I feel beyond blessed to have two healthy and beautiful daughters... yet I am not afraid to admit miss Sof has thrown us for a loop this last five weeks. If she is awake she is either eating or screaming... she fights sleep so hard it can take well over an hour to get her to calm down enough to sleep and once she is asleep she will pry herself awake despite being swaddled and then the process starts all over again. I don't mean to compare Averi and Sofie, I know they are going to be compared for the rest of their lives but Averi was a much easier baby which has made the adjustment to Sofie that much harder.
I know she has acid reflux and therefore she is uncomfortable which breaks my heart for her that much more... not being able to comfort your own baby can make you feel like a failure rather quickly, as a mom you feel you should be the one person who can soothe your baby, unfortunately in many instances no one can soothe poor Sof. Dont get me wrong, she has moments where she is content, moments where she looks in my eyes and gives me one of those content baby grins...she has just enough of those moments that I am reminded how much I love her, how grateful I am that God placed her in our lives and how a year from now this time of fussiness will be a distant memory!
After over four hours of Sofie screaming tonight I am exhausted...we tried rocking, walking, nursing, swaddling, the swing and even letting her cry it out to no prevail...she finally crashed in my arms, I think from pure exhaustion, the poor thing... I then placed her in her swing for 30 minutes so I could have a few uninterupted minutes to myself! My house is a mess despite trying my darndest to stay on top of it but I am realizing that is ok... a messy house may just be the spot we are in right now, eventually it will calm down and on the days Sofie is not so fussy I will get as much cleaned as possible!
i am incredibly blessed... I hate to come across like I am complaining, I'm not... I am just tired, I want to fix my babies fussiness and am having to realize I can't... I am having to realize more and more to place her in Gods hands and to place my anxieties at his feet! "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" this is what I repeated to myself throughout Sofies birth and this is what I will continue to tell myself as we get past this point of colic! And now I hear Sofie crying again... time for another round with her but after a minute of venting I feel far better.
4 comments:
I nanny for a baby boy that has acid reflux. I'm going to ask her if she has any tips for you. Hang in there!
I can only imagine how exhausted and frustrated you must feel. Asher had his nights and days mixed up for several weeks, sleeping 4 hours a night on his good days. I though I would literally lose my mind. Do extend yourself grace with stuff around the house. It's much more important that you get some rest during those rare moments when both kiddos are asleep :-) You're in my prayers Rachel!
Love you Rachel. This too shall pass. Wish I was there to help out. Please call me anytime you need to vent - even if it's late. That's why you have a big sister lol.
As I have said.. I totally feel ya! Grace was also colicky in the beginning and it was AWEFUL! Almost unbearable. Don't feel bad about talking about it because it is very hard. If you was to see all my initial posts on my blog after Grace was born you would see all the times I would talk about her being colicky and our struggles. Taking walks would help Grace sometimes (outside) but unfortunately it is Wintertime! Hopefully, she is better real soon! Praying for all of you!
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